How to Help: Anxiety in Children
Anxiety in children is often overlooked or dismissed as being a normal part of growing up. But unchecked, it can severely impact their daily life and mental well-being.
This post looks at the symptoms of anxiety in children, ways support children struggling with anxiety, and how to help them manage the anxious feelings they experience with some printable worksheets.
Recognizing anxiety is the first step. Here are several warning signs your child may have anxiety. (Please see a professional for a formal diagnosis. These are merely suggestions).
What to Look For: The Symptoms of Anxiety in Children
Regression symptoms such as baby talk, wetting the bed, toileting accidents when previously toilet trained
Becoming extremely attached to one parent (more so than usual for a particular child)
Freaking out over small, insignificant things in school aged kids (lost toy they don’t normally play with, wrong cup, chalk broke, sibling has a cough, wrong color sock, etc)
Behavior out of their ordinary (Consider your child in their normal state. If this is a school aged child, they most likely have outgrown the tantrum phase, baby talk, toileting accidents.)
Excessive worry or fear about normal everyday activities
Refusal to participate in activities they’ve always enjoyed, or refusal to go to school
Difficulty sleeping or nightmares, more so than usual
Stomachaches, headaches, decreased appetite
Irritability and/or outbursts
If you notice behaviors or actions out of their normal, observe them for a few days. See if these changes persist, then address the child and offer support.
How to Support Children Struggling with Anxiety
Anxiety in children can be difficult to recognize and even more difficult to address. It is important for parents to know what to look for and how to support children experiencing anxiety. By understanding their anxious feelings, children can gain the confidence to process and manage their anxieties.
Addressing the issue in a calm manner is the best way to approach the behaviors. Remember that the behaviors are not innately bad, they aren’t done maliciously or for attention.
Children have underlying feelings, emotions, and thoughts that they are unsure how to process. This results in the above behaviors. Anxiety in children can be so hard to identify due to thinking the issue is the behavior itself.
Respecting your child’s fears and anxieties means validating what they are feeling, and encouraging them to know they are supported. Be a good role model in how to handle anxiety. Children learn best from what they see, so managing our own anxiety well sets them up for success.
Step by Step Strategies:
Listen to their concerns: Encourage them to share their feelings and concerns, and validate their feelings. Let them know you’re there to listen to their worries and fears.
Continue normal routine: Children thrive on routines due to knowing what to expect. Having a routine while dealing with anxiety is so essential so the child feels secure in their everyday life. Ensure their basic needs are met completely, and engage with them more deliberately. Getting plenty of sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular physical activity ensures they can focus on managing their anxiety and have nothing else to worry about.
Teach relaxation techniques: Deep breathing exercises, yoga, and meditation are some ideas to encourage regularly. Seek out children’s books from your local library that offer fun pictures and cute ways of addressing breathing techniques. Reading a story to your child is a subtle way to bring up some issues occurring at home without attacking the situation a full force. It offers an opportunity to discuss anxiety and fear in an indirect way.
333 Technique: This is a tool to help a child in the middle of an acute anxiety episode. Discuss and practice this with your child in a normal, relaxed moment so it is understood before needed. The 333 technique involves naming three things you see, three sounds you hear, and three parts of your body. This helps to ground the child to the present moment and to normal thinking.
Blow Bubbles: This exercise is as simple as it sounds. Grab a bottle of bubbles and have your child be the one to blow lots of bubbles until they feel calm.
Smell the Flowers: In this exercise, have your child pick a real or imaginary flower. They will take a big inhale in to smell the flower, hold their breath for a few seconds, and then breathe out slowly.
Rainbow Breathing: Draw a rainbow with your child or use an already drawn picture of a rainbow. Next, start with red and have your child use their finger to trace the red line on the rainbow while taking a deep breath in going up the rainbow. Hold breath at the top, and exhale as their finger moves down the rainbow. Repeat this breathing for all the colors.
Face their fears: Encourage children to face their fears and anxieties gradually, and offer support and reassurance using relaxation techniques and other coping mechanisms along the way. This will make the anxiety worse in the long run since avoiding the situation will reinforce the anxiety.
Seek professional help: A mental health professional can give your child the tools and support they need if things are not improving at home with the strategies being used above.
Real Life Scenarios for Addressing Anxiety at Home
“Play” with child with familiar toys: While playing with Barbie dolls, babies, or even cars or dinosaurs, bring up topics to help spark a discussion. Using “play” to address some issues going on at home teaches the child healthy coping mechanisms without “calling them out” on unhealthy behavior. Make up scenarios while playing with their toys. See how they respond and correct or affirm responses are appropriate for managing the situation you planted in place.
This increases communication between child and parent and rewires the brain to know how to handle the situation moving forward. Children don’t know how to manage situations because they are kids, and everything they know has to be taught. It is our responsibility as parents to teach them what they know.
"Play" Examples:
Oh no, Ken is worried about his friends making fun of him at the party. Barbie helps Ken by holding his hand and letting him know that being afraid of being made fun of is a valid fear. Barbie helps Ken by facilitating the 333 technique with him. Barbie encourages Ken to go to the party despite his fears.
T-Rex is usually super calm and playful. Out of nowhere, T-Rex is screaming and stomping around because the Stegosaurus took the red ball. T-Rex is so upset. Stegosaurus encourages T-Rex to do Rainbow breaths through the tantrum and lets T-Rex know that he’s taking a turn and will share once finished playing.
Use the free worksheets to help guide you in your journey with your child’s anxiety. These worksheets are meant to help address anxiety in children in a positive, helpful, indirect way. Please seek professional guidance if anxiety symptoms persist.
Dealing with a child who suffers from anxiety can be challenging, but you can help them manage and learn to thrive despite the challenges anxiety brings them. By providing activities that help children take control, such as deep breathing exercises and journaling, we can empower them to take ownership of their buzzing brains and effectively manage their anxiety.
If you or your children are struggling with anxiety, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Take the first step by downloading the printable worksheet and starting a conversation with your child. Below are the free worksheets and accompanying activities!
